At work tonight, 2 different staff members asked me questions which have had me thinking.
The first one was simply "Aren't you going to miss the newborn stage?" Mind you this is while the night shift nurses were taking turns loving on a new 3 day old squishy baby.
To be honest yes. Would I love the opportunity to love on a new baby like this and experience it, YES! Do I feel cheated? No! God is handpicking our daughter for us and whatever age she is, wherever she is and whatever way she is given to us is going to be perfect. I do not dout that at all. I had to firmly explain that I have no regrets and that this is an amazing journey we are on and I want to enjoy each day of our wait for LynnMarie!
The next was " When do you decide to just give up and try something else"? Hmm. I had no idea how to answer this. We are not giving up. Some people leave the China adoption program but I don't think they are giving up. Things change. We are not going anywhere. I asked her if she asked families who were trying to get pregnant how much longer they were going to keep trying. I was not ugly, I just let her know how I took her comment. She is my friend and she was very cool about it.
At our charge nurse meeting, I learned that one of the respiratory therapists that works nice is adopting from China and just got her referral. She will be leaving soon to get her baby. I cant wait to to find and meet her this week!
I'm in a much better mood. I just needed to get back in the swing of things, that's all!
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16 comments:
Don and Be said...
Great response to the "How long are you going to wait?" question. We tell people that we're pregnant by adoption. Somehow, the 2 items parallell each other in people's minds, perhaps. There's always the 'waiting question' and I tell them 'God's got it in control. He has this 'eternity' thing and I don't. I guess it's just not time yet." Meanwhile, I continue to work on my dwindling patience quota and find as many diversions as I can.
I follow your blog regularly and appreciate the way you share your mind with blogdom. I'm afraid if I did, our agency would yank our application.
Blessings,
Don
Sorry about the removal of the 1st comment - I hit the 'publish' button before I did a spell check - oy!
Glad you were able to respond so well. THe questions will always continue. In our situation they constantly say, "Are you STILL going to adopt from China?" I try to remember that they could never fully understand our hearts, the call we feel, or the love we have NOW for Claire.
I really liked this post and your replies to these people. There are alot of people out there that just simply don't understand and for the matter, never will understand unless they go through adoption themselves. They simply need taught in a kind and very direct way. Of course, there are also people out there that do what Satan wants them to do and say...haha! Our reactions to these people should really be no different that how we would treat someone who just doesn't understand. This is because they need educated as well and this kind of confrontation is clearly a test of our faith and ability to see the unseen things going on behind the person's comments and actions. The person is not our enemy...it's Satan.
Keep your head up!
Jennifer
Great to hear you are doing better! May God continue to sustain you through the wait and give you all the desires of you heart as you trust Him.
Great answer on the "giving up and trying something else" question! I'll have to remember that one just in case I ever need it.
The question I get the most from well meaning co-workers is "what's the latest on the adoption?" I keep telling them that we are just waiting in a VERY long line with everyone else and when our file gets to the top we'll get our referral. There is no "latest". Next question is "why is it taking so long?" Ughhhh...try explaining this one to someone who knows NOTHING about China adoption! I hate this question!
Donna :)
I agree with you.... that God has a specific child for me. I feel her spirit in my life.
When asked why I don't change countries, I tell people that I just know I need to go to China for my gal.... if they still don't "get it", then I will place a dollar amount that I would have to fork out again to another place. Either way, spiritual or money they will get it why I keep going towards this long wait.
Infant??? I think that we still get to experience the developemental stages as if they were newborn. Hey, and they are a lot more interactive and fun at an older age!!!
Lisa
I like your answers and your attitude. It took my best friend 3 years to conceive her first child. That's how I'm looking at this.I know that this daughter is God's calling for us. The way that everything came into place was nothing short of miraculous. He will get us there.
This is a question we've asked ourselves as well, though so far the answer has never seriously been in doubt.
Thanks for sharing your upbeat attitude and your friendship. Friends like you remind us that this is a journey and help us to enjoy the journey along the way.
The honest truth is that I WILL miss the newborn stage. (It is one of my favourite stages.) But I will also get to experience manynew stages and different things. These are also a blessing, just different. I try to keep my cool when asked insensitive questions, even when I know full well they aren't meant well. But sometimes it's hard. I love how calm you are about it. Good for you, Amy!!!!!
You handled those questions so well!! Good for you for nicely showing your friend how you felt about that question, too.
Thanks for sharing your feelings and your responses to difficult questions. Good responses!
Thanks for sharing your questions and answers. I like Don's answer very much - we are pregnant by adoption! A VERY long pregnancy!
So the process isn't over, the wait is as long as it is, until we "birth" this child while in China.
Alyson
LID 01/27/06
Amy
the questions always come and somethimes they knock you off your feet. I am sure you will graceful when they arise and if you are please teach me how to be cos sometimes, I just stand there with my mouth wide open.
Thanks for sharing with us, Amy!
I had wondered whether I would miss those newborn stages too. Then, a few months after Martina arrived, I agreed to keep a friend's newborn three days a week while she worked for four months. After a couple of days with a newborn and my one-year-old, I realized that I was very happy with things the way they were!!
I'm glad we're all here to support each other during the wait. Our plan is to be in it for the long haul, although if it gets too long, I might try to talk my husband into a concurrent adoption. We never plan to "give up" on China!
We may 'miss' the newborn stage but we will experience other things that we would otherwise never have... I am all for it... every experience... good and bad...
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