I can so relate to the Grinch

Bear with me. This could be long. I have been thinking about this past weekend and wanted to wait to post my thoughts.

Why do I compare myself to the Grinch? Most people know I absolutely love the Christmas season. But as in the movie, I feel like my heart doubled in size this weekend. I am so glad Michael shared his thoughts regarding First Friday in the post below.

Friday evening, I had a bad attitude. As much as I love my First Friday friends, I did not want to go. I am going to be pretty honest with you here. It seemed that everyone had great things to look forward to but us. People were home from China, our friends had referrals but the Christopher's had nothing. How selfish was I. One of the greatest parts of this journey is rejoicing with our friends when they have good news. I am so glad that I went. I know with confidence that the Christopher family will grow at the most perfect time and because of that I am going to enjoy this wait.

We all met at La Dolce Vita and I enjoyed the sounds of friends. At dinner were the Ladmans with their new referral for their 2 year old boy, the Hoffmans with their referral for their new son who has the most amazing eyes I have ever seen, Miss Shelby was home from China, Lennah and her family ,the Nolands,and I was lucky to sit near Mr. Sheridan whose presence always makes me smile. As we enjoyed our meal, my nasty attitude went away as I realized I was surrounded people who truly "get us" and for that I am thankful. Even Kim who knows me far better than I thought she did told me later that she realized that Michael and Amy were probably feeling a bit down. Thanks Kim for being you. Oh I had no idea what the night would bring.

As we arrived at First Friday, we visited and socialized with new friends and friends we had not seen in a long time. There was wonderful music playing and then Ms. Carole Ford led the music and God used her to speak directly into my heart. This entire evening was almost a whisper from God. How could I have missed this? My attitude could have prevented me from one of the greatest experiences. During the music, tears fell. Sad tears that made me realize how much time I have wasted worrying about things I can not change. Tears of joy from knowing that one day we will have the family I have dreamed of and tears of happiness of being surrounded from this great group of friends. God pretty much poured His peace upon me.

After Carol sang, Amy Eldridege spoke from Love Without Boundaries which is a ministry that goes to China to help take care of the children by loving them and providing medical care. Michael shared her words but I want to share my thoughts as I listened to her. A song came to mind and I have no idea who sings it or what its about and the words may not make sense to you. It is probably a Steven Curtis Chapman song but who knows.

The words are "What will you do now that you've found me"? You may not understand why these words are important. To me this means a lot. A lot of questions were asked of me that night and the answers were clear. I asked to make me more aware of this desires for me. God speaks to us in so many different ways.

Why are we adopting from China? We want to start a family and there are orphaned babies in China.

Why do we want to adopt an orphan? They need families..Sounds like a win win situation.

SHe mentioed loving the unlovable. We know that God is a father to the fatherless. There are not only orphans but babies with needs that prevent these babies from getting families. As a special needs nurse, I see this and wonder what would have happened to my patients if they did not have the homes that they have.

There really is no reason why we should not go with special needs. For a long time, I have used the " We don't want to go special needs just to decrease our wait" excuse. I am sharing my thoughts here, these are not necessarily Michaels. I have no idea whats going to happen to the Christopher family but I am quite excited about the possibilities. Rebecca, who is a First Friday friend, once commented on this blog, "God is not silent right now". That comment has stayed with me as we have seen Gods hand at work over the past year. This red thread we talk about has just brought the most amazing people into our life. I have said this before that although we are not even half way done with our wait, our lives have been forever changed. Wait til Miss LynnMarie gets home.
Susan and Dan, thanks for bringing Love Without Boundaries to First Friday. I really can't put into words but Amys words meant to many people that night.

Sunday morning we headed to church and the tears fell once again. I am not one to talk about the Holy Spirt moving simply because I am really not good with words but what a service. After the sermon, they played a song and shared videos of the baptisms last week. As i watched the faces of the people as they were lifted out of the water, I couldn't help but cry. To publicly declare their decision was amazing and the expressions were just too much for me. We ended the service with a song that moved me again. I could not tell you the words but it was sung at the perfect time. God spoke this weekend and he was clear and He was loud.

We ended our Sunday with the Christopher Christmas party. That morning I prayed for the people who would attend and we had such a nice time . We had coworkers, church friends, adopting friends, trivia friends and small group friends attend. Thanks to all who came. Hope to see more of you next year.
This season is special. We dont know how many Christmas's will be until LynnMarie comes home. I will use each season to prepare our home and our hearts for her arrival. This has been a year of smiles and tears. It has been a year of wonder, a year of dreams, a year of self awareness. Had we not decided to adopt, I would not have experienced any of this. God is good.

My friends, thank you for being part of this journey.. Thanks for loving us and letting us into your lives. I wish I could put into words what you guys have meant to us.