Thursday, July 03, 2008

friends,lunch and books

So yesterday I was able to have lunch with a very sweet friend who I have not had the chance to get know much and had a great time. This friend has had a great impact in our adoption. Anyway, we chatted and talked and although I was incredibly sleep deprived, she got me thinking.

When we got logged in we started reading books, books on China and parenting. Now, that our wait may be shorted than expected, I think it is time to get back to the books and this is where we need your help. I need some book recommendations. I'm talking parenting, attachment, special needs, adoption, China. The first book we are going to get is called Babywise! I know that James Dobson has some great books.

So my friends, tell me what we should read and why? Bring it on!


Mark, Rebecca and Sophia said...

Angela turned me on to The baby Whisperer solves all your problems. She has infant through toddler suggestions that have worked SO well for us.

Passages to the Heart is a good one too. It is an FCC book of esays.

Special K said...

I like the Babywise series. I also like Screamfree Parenting. Toddler Adoption is a must read before you go to China (or on the plane ride over).

Beverly said...

Parenting the hurt child. The total adoption parenting. Any materials from matters of the heart. Anything on race issues. Go to EMK press!! Get on rainbow kids. Get holding time (just for FYI).

There is a bunch of stuff out there.


Beverly said...

With eyes wide open. You can even do it as parenting classes. This will challenge you on many levels.

The Princess's Mommy said...

Attaching in Adoption is a good one. Some of it might not apply, but it's always good to be familiar with different scenerios, just in case.

Also, you might want to pick up a baby signs book and be familiar with some basic sign language. We taught Lily Mei the ones for eat, more, drink, finished. I really think it helped us bridge the communication gap until she stated talking.


April said...

they are not books, but the Signing Time series (DVD) are awesome! I agree with Monica that it will help you communicate before she can talk. Both my girls used sign and it made (is making) a huge difference!! Smiles can tell me what she wants without screaming for it!! Gotta love that!!

Anonymous said...

"The Power of A Praying Parent" by Stormie Ormartian is a wonderful book for parents that worry. You guys may not turn out to be one of those types but I was and it really helped.

Roxanne Kristina said...

The Love and Logic series is awesome.

I also like Boundaries for Kids.

The bonding piece, trust me. It's already happening and will continue to happen.

Roxanne Kristina

TulipGirl said...

I have an friend whose son was dx’d RAD (and the doctors linked it with Babywise) and an adoptive mom friend whose older child was dx’d RAD.

While one cannont conclusively say that “CIO/BW –> Attachment Problems,” there are many resources that indicate the parenting ideas expoused by Babywise do undermine the development of parent/child attachment. Sadly, this can happen even when parents do love their children dearly, even when their actions may be preventing a strong and healthy attached relationship.

I'm not saying that BW will cause attachment problems, but why take the risk?

These are some resources friends have shared and I've found:

Adoption and Attachment
Different But Equal
Babywise and Attachment Disorder

Hope this helps!

Steffie B. said...

have a wonderful holiday weekend! ;)

Jen said...

I used Babywise with our first daughter, adopted as an infant. She is able to put herself to sleep to this day (age 4) and for that, I am forever appreciative! It has made naps and bedtime much easier. I'm not sure it would be the best thing to use with a child coming to you with possible attachment issues. However, I find that I can get an idea or two out of most anything I read, so I wouldn't discourage you from investigating it.

I am currently reading The Connected Child, and so far I have found some good ideas for parenting any child, not just adopted children. I'd recommend it.

Karen said...

I recommend Road Map to Holland. I really need to put up a review of it on my blog, but have to find time first;)The title alone has such a special meaning that it might bring tears to your eyes.

This book is about a family in which there is a child living with Down Syndrome, but it really has something for parents of all children who have special needs. It talks of the mother's journey to discovering that she has to be the advocate for her child, and how she deals with that.

This book truly touched me, and I actually gave it as end of the year gifts to my son's special ed teachers this year, and they too gained insight and knowledge from this book.

Our oldest just began T-Ball last night in a newly formed special needs sports league here in our city, and it was so touching to watch these children (some in wheelchairs) experience the joy of T-Ball. Another mother and I discussed this book, and agree that it is ideal for parents facing the trials of the medical (and other) systems that they must deal with so often.